Getting Started

As the realities of the past 3 1/2 years have set in, Justin and I have made the awesome decision to adopt. Like any big decision, I am dealing with thousands of questions and emotions that I wish could all be answered at once. After speaking with close friends and family about our decision I do feel more certain in our decision and thought you would like to be a part of this process so I am going to blog about it as we work through the dozens of steps and decisions that lay ahead of us. I have to admit this is also kind of like therapy for me because it gives me an outlet for my thoughts and a safe place to think through ideas. I am by no means an amazing writer but I hope you will enjoy reading about this journey and feel comfort in being part of it, no matter where you are :)

After three rounds of unsuccessful, and might I add very expensive, fertility treatments Justin and I knew we had to make some decisions about how we were going to start a family. The doctor spelled it out for us: IVF or adoption. Not a decision we had seen in our future when we decided to start a family in January of 2007. That decision seems so insignificant now, as if we had a choice in the matter. God decides when life begins, not us. The one thing that has held comfort to me over this whole ordeal is to keep telling myself that I do not know His plan, nor am I meant to know it. It sounds crazy now but growing up, I've always felt drawn to adoption, like it was something I would want to do after my own kids had grown. I think now that was God's way of keeping my heart open for it. I am so ready to begin the whole process and meet with someone who can give us statistics (I'm a numbers person) on how long and what the process will look and feel like. In my heart, I'm ready to get the process underway. In my mind, I know that we have to take this slow. Justin and I have to both be ready to sit down with an agency and ask those questions and face the difficulties of where from, which type, how long, and how much this process will be. We are both thinking we will officially start in July. I'll be done with grad school then and will be able to really devote myself just to this for 2 months before work begins again.

If I could wish one thing about this process, it would be people's reactions. I can't stand it when people say "Well, you know as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant." No, we won't. Yes, miracles occur but I have been clinging to hope for over 3 years about that. I am happy with our decision and I know now that this is how we are going to have a family. Stop trying to make it sound like we are settling. We had a choice, ours through IVF or someone else's through adoption. We chose adoption. We are happy with this choice and we are excited about the family that we will have.

For now, we are trying to do as much research as possible. I am not writing this for pity or sympathy. I want our family and friends to understand and to be a part of this. I hope you will feel inclined to pray for us, that God will give us wisdom in our decisions and strength as follow through with them. I am so thankful to have such an amazing marriage with Justin and I know that it is our bond and our bond with God that will get us through these difficult and amazing times ahead.