God doesn't do Plan B

   Last weekend I was talking with a friend who has just entered into the world that Justin and I have been a part of for 5 years now. She and her husband had a failed IUI and were trying to decide if they wanted to do IVF or adoption. When we were talking she shared that she never wanted to choose adoption because it is "plan B," that she knows that people who are adopting are called to do so. This really got me thinking...
    When people ask me why we are adopting my answer varies depending on the person. Do I portray our decision to adopt as plan B? Is that what people hear when I tell them our story? Then I started to giggle to myself. To think that adoption is "plan B" is to think you are in control. Isn't that what this entire chapter in my life has taught me- that we are not in control? And that I am so thankful that we aren't? Yes, I know there are lots of theological debates about free will and predestination. I, for one, believe it is a mixture of both. Without getting too much into that, I can honestly tell you I don't know how Justin and I would have made it through everything if we didn't believe God was in control and that He will protect and care for us. That He loves us and made us who we are- including making us unable to have children- and that He doesn't make mistakes. We are going through this because that was His plan. We are adopting because that is what He wants us to do. Is it more difficult than the average person's path to parenthood? Absolutely. Do I think it would have been easier if I had opened my eyes earlier? Yes. I've said it before and as the days pass, I see it more and more. God has been preparing us to be adoptive parents for a long time. This wasn't something He came up with on a whim one day and decided to change course, to do plan B. This was His plan A all the time. I just had to step back from my own view of what family means, of what future I had envisioned, and realize what He was trying to tell me. Man, I wish I had seen that earlier. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. But maybe that is what was supposed to happen. It taught me to rely on Him. It taught me to let go and not kid myself by thinking I do have control. It taught me how strong I can be through Him, with Him, because of Him. It helped Justin and I put God in the center of our marriage so that when we do become parents, we will be better equipped to teach our children to do the same thing. It is such a comforting thought to know He always has plan A all ready to go. That He is never caught off guard and, therefore, He is always preparing us for what lies ahead and pulling us out of hurt when we are going through trials. The words from one of the songs at church resonated with me today so I thought I'd share them with you:

You turned my way, you heard my cry
You turned my mourning into shouting
Sorrow may last for a night
But with your light, I am seeing, I am singing

You lifted me out, lifted me out
And set me dancing, dancing
Free, now I am free, your love rescued me
Now it's the anthem I'm singing

Many will see, many will hear
And find you strong enough to save
Many the wonders you have done
Your light has come, and I am seeing, I am singing

You lifted me out, lifted me out
And set me dancing, dancing
Free, now I am free, your love rescued me
Now it's the anthem I'm singing

Lost is where you found me
Shattered and frail
But you loved me still
Trouble may surround me
My heart may fail
But you never will (You never will)

"You Lifted Me Out" by Chris Tomlin

Love,

Rachel