DSS or International?

We attended the orientation at DSS tonight and I left feeling more confused than when I arrived. Last week we seemed to be really heading towards international. Then tonight, I got pumped about DSS adoption. Well, sort of. Ugh! I wish God would hang a banner across our yard saying "Justin & Rachel- ____ is the path I want you to take." So here are my thoughts on both:

DSS
*practically FREE
*very little say in the process
*no anticipated timeline once approved, could be weeks, could be years
*must decide how much risk we are willing to take (based on if the child's parents' rights have been terminated for the mother and/or father)

International
*costs alot, but doable (is that a word?) with a little work
*agencies have support and help us through the process
*timeline 10-16 months from start to finish
*no issues of parental rights
*have to travel, possibly twice, at what might be inopportune times

I am trying so hard to see what is best for us and our future child that I am completely stressed about this decision (I started crying at Kickin' Chicken, I can't stand how emotional I am!). Justin feels international is best. I'm stressed about the financial side of it.

I'm also concerned, with either of these options, that we will miss so much. First smile, first time he/she sits up, first time he/she crawls... I know I have to think about the positive side of things (i.e.- no stretch marks, no labor, no morning sickness, etc.) but I can't help but feel like we are already having to miss out on so much, why do we have to miss that stuff as well? Why does this have to be so hard? I know God has a plan and there is a reason we are adopting but I really wish he would spell it out for me sometimes!

Just an fyi- I also am helping to keep a blog about our Togo trip and preparations. The link is http://togomedical.blogspot.com/ in case you are interested!

Love you all and thank you so much for following along we figure out what God has in store for us!

Rachel

Ideas & News...

So, I figured out what my second career is going to be. I want to start a foundation that assist families with these first steps in adoption. It would be a resource for information on all types of adoption, offering counseling and support through the initial decision making process. Then, once a family has made a decision, we would have a relationship with reputable agencies and lawyers to direct them towards. We would also have a division that helped families write grants and loans to figure out how to pay for the process. If the agency/attorney didn't have a support system for the rest of the process, we would stay with them through placement and the first couple years. I really want to do this, I feel like it's a calling. Justin says I should contact Angelina Jolie for a celebrity sponsor! :) Maybe my next master's will be an M. BA so I can do this...

On another note, we've been in contact with DSS and will fax our application in on Thursday!! Here are the steps according to their website (italics mean it's already done or is scheduled)-

Steps to become an adoptive parent:

•Contact one of the regional offices to inquiry and receive application.
•Application completed and returned to the regional office which serves your resident county.
•Complete SLED/ Fingerprints and Child Abuse Central register releases on all members of household 18 years and older.  July 20th at Orientation
•Attend 14 hours of preparatory training to help with self evaluation of the types of children which would fit into your family. 2 hours will be done at orientation on July 20th!!
•Fire and sanitation inspections completed on home by the Fire Marshal and DHEC.
•Home Visits: adoption specialist visits the home and completes interviews for pre- placement investigation.
•Three/ Four References received and interviewed by adoption specialist.
•Medicals are required on all family members.
•Provide copies of birth certificates, Marriage license and divorce petitions and decrees if applicable. Given at orientation on July 20th
•During assessment family and agency assess qualifications and readiness to adopt.
•Approval received and family considered for children along with other approved and waiting families.

Wait, Wait, Wait...

•Placement committee selects family and notifies family and family is presented full background on child/ children for whom family is selected.
•Family meets child and begins visitation with child.
•Placement occurs when child and family are ready for move.
•Post placement period begins and can continue up to 12 months.
•Finalization of the adoption in Family Court.
•Adoption Preservation services are available upon request after the finalization of the adoption.